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helicopilot
(@helicopilot)
Member Moderator
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 1490
Topic starter  

Gents,

I suspect I may not be the only one experiencing this issue. I've been more or less a "closet" prepper for many years. I have an amazing wife but she has never been the outdoorsy kind of girl. Other than first aid training, I could probably say that she has very little survival knowledge or skills.

We've discussed prep a few times and have a "72hr kit", but that's about the extent of it from her point of view. Unfortunately, the show Doomsday Preppers just turned her right off. So, every prep I do is somewhat done in isolation and without her knowledge, stuff essentially hidden everywhere. ( Although im sure she noticed the little black bag in her car, in my truck, the shelves in the garage with an ever expending stash of food, the camping gear, flats of water...). I've had to use the excuse a few times that "oh, i forgot we already had X when i saw it was on sale had the store... oh well, we have 2 now." 😉

What saddens me though is that despite having all sorts of good stuff, it's essentially useless for her and my young family if I'm not around.

I was wondering if anyone else have been or are in a similar situation as well as strategies. I've read other places to compare prepping to getting a "quality of life insurance". Although I like the analogy, I don't think my wife would buy this. Any suggestions and support would be much appreciated.


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underprepared
(@underprepared)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 111
 

Maybe you want a strictly mans opinion on this topic. I know that this topic is in the open forum here:
http://internationalpreppersnetwork.net/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=3541

Personally, I'm in a similar situation. If I'm not around the rest of my family won't have a clue.


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helicopilot
(@helicopilot)
Member Moderator
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 1490
Topic starter  

Maybe you want a strictly mans opinion on this topic. I know that this topic is in the open forum here:
http://internationalpreppersnetwork.net/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=3541

Personally, I'm in a similar situation. If I'm not around the rest of my family won't have a clue.

Not to be sexist, but you're right I'm looking at getting the point of view from men: husbands, fathers...


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Duffmanprepper
(@duffmanprepper)
Prominent Member
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 784
 

You could explain to your wife it's better to have it and never need it rather than need it and not have it
It's the same thing with self defence if you wait till the time when your being attached to realize you should of taken those classes it's to late
But with my wife I just talked to her alot and alot and alot and a year later she seen my point
What part of the country are you in helicopilot

Preparedness is like a condom , I've rather have it and not need it, rather than need it and not have it


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underprepared
(@underprepared)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 111
 

I don't know about the rest of you guys, but at the end of the day I'm only willing to put up with so much BS or negativity from the wife (or anyone else for that matter). I don't want to have to convince the wife that what I'm doing is right. I don't throw it in her face, but I don't need her permission either.
I'm positive that whatever I'm doing today will pay dividends later, and I'm satisfied with that belief.


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helicopilot
(@helicopilot)
Member Moderator
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 1490
Topic starter  

I see your point underprepared. However, don't you think you would gain from having the support of your wife and having her on board with your preps?

I'm trying to bounce things off my wife, like last night when they were talking about the shelter-in-place situation in Boston. "Hun, how do you think we'd do if we were in that situation for a few days or weeks?" That created a good discussion on the right track. I'm still far away from getting her full support though....


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Duffmanprepper
(@duffmanprepper)
Prominent Member
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 784
 

That I think is the best way to just talk to her as much as possible she ll come around

Preparedness is like a condom , I've rather have it and not need it, rather than need it and not have it


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underprepared
(@underprepared)
Estimable Member
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 111
 

There are many ways to communicate. I'm saying don't think you can manipulate a conversation to promote your prepping ideals to your wife. Women are far better at verbal manipulation than men, and she can see your argument coming a mile a way. If you're looking for some kind of buy-in here from your wife before you begin, then I'm saying don't bother. Much better to continue to prep by yourself first. As your prepping actions begin to pile up, she'll ask questions. Be prepared for these questions and answer them with clear answers. As you continue to prep, she'll continue to question things both to you and to herself. If she respects you, she will have to eventually respect your decision to prep. She will come around on her own time.
This is a far better course of action than trying to "win her over" as you drink your morning coffee.


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helicopilot
(@helicopilot)
Member Moderator
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 1490
Topic starter  

Very good point underprepared. However, preps should be more than stockpiling stuff IMHO. It's also about mental preparedness, training, skill sets etc. I go back to my point that its sad to think that I may have all the training required, all the gear I need, all the best plans in my head... But for some reason I'm not around (death, stranded somewhere else, etc) that all "my" preps would be useless to her and family.

Not meaning to be negative here. I'm enjoying the discussion and the suggestions!


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helicopilot
(@helicopilot)
Member Moderator
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 1490
Topic starter  

So....

My wife (a teacher) went on a weekend retreat where teachers can learn to teach outdoor Ed. She got to do fishing, survival skills and do some shooting (bow, crossbow, target and skeet). She comes back home, telling me how much fun it was and if she can come to the range with me next time.

After all the years that I've tried to get shooting with me or hunting with me, she needed to go with peers to take a liking of it. She's now asking about getting her PAL and hunter safety course.

What I've learned for this is that she was likely unsecured to come learn from me, thinking I would belittle her for lack of knowledge/skills. But she was more eager to go as part of a colleague group. The positive experience became contagious and at least, sparked an interest. Hope this will grow into a more prepper-like interest!


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thecrownsown
(@thecrownsown)
Prominent Member
Joined: 9 years ago
Posts: 867
 

Any new experience or learned trade helps us become more resilient. I think in this instance its less about the "prepper" logo and more about life in general. I'm glad to hear your wife is taking a liking to outdoorsmanship!

I tried to get mine to go do some shooting with me in the cold...I was told what to do with my firearm... 😆

https://www.internationalpreppersnetwork.net/viewtopic.php?f=57&t=7738


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